This post is William's IC inbox at ataraxion. You can drop network or action stuff that doesn't quite feel like it fits or warrants a post on the main communities in here.
said all the shit by myself, its really his invention if he thinks you put me up to it. perhaps i made an ingenious inference from your choice of literature. it kind of depends on what you really think about marriage.
actually the mum was pretty fucking awesome too. people write her off because she's helpless and pushy, but that's not on her. she's the one who talks about how if she were in mr. bennet's shoes she would have done something about the will ages ago so that the girls could inherit instead of depending on some asshole. he's a bit of a cunt for laughing her off as far as I'm concerned. male fucking privilege, h
nobody NEEDS to get married besides the bennet girls because not enough feminism but i am just saying
suppose none of this matters
suppose we came here due to a technical problem of experimental wormhole technology in conjunction with faulty neural interfaces and artificial or paranormal intelligences and will leave as abruptly and unexpectedly, that our existence here is a matter of random chaos and err margin
suppose we die next cycle
would it not though have been a very fine thing
to have believed that while he was coming to care for you
unannounced
in between breakfast time and bath time and quiet time and crisis time and water breaks at work, these teeny tiny convergences that are nothing at all compared to the blatant fucking violations of physics that brought you both to this ship, and yet were just as essential just as unimaginable. would it not have been a very fine thing to have believed for awhile that this series of moments
was leading to another moment
in spite of not because of fate and without the limitations of need
I mean I am sorry but it would be a fine thing to me. that's all
don't mistake my failure to declare myself an eager blushing bride for cynicism
have you ever been in love? like, really truly? because i love him. there are things he does or won't do that drive me crazy up to and including making me want things that i never, ever would have thought i wanted and now that i do they're not things i can have. nations aren't supposed to ever get this close to citizens. and i'm not talking some capulet-montague bullshit, i think it really messes things up. i mean, people have pre-nups for their money and their careers and all kinds of shit. how do you work out a pre-nup for the safety of sixteen million people? because i didn't just fall hard for some stubborn, mulish, beautiful man who acts like scowling at everything that happens could ever hide how gentle and kind he can be. i fell for a nation.
if i loved a preacher I wouldn't ask him to give up god for me. if i loved a father i wouldn't ask him to risk his children for me. for him, it's somewhere in between. maybe both at once, i don't know. and maybe you're right, maybe i don't know what he'd say if i asked. maybe he wouldn't just freak out if i suddenly decided i want babies and white picket fences. but i do know that if i asked him for that i wouldn't deserve it, because i'd be asking him to give up who he is. and that wouldn't be love at all.
if you loved a preacher youd take something of his faith into your life. if you loved a father youd have his babies in it and youd do a damn fine job. I dont know much about the physics of nations and less when I talked to ned than I do now. maybe if you got married all the female descendants of dutch origin would spontaneously amputate a leg and I won't have that on my fucking conscience
cat's out of the bag now though you might as well talk about something unless you'd really rather not. Honestly Im not even sure why he brought it up, he was quite out of it when we spoke
[Not coincidence, him not picking up the thread about having fallen in love, but there are any number of obvious and boring guesses that would be correct as to why.]
she only meant to yell at him how did this happen]
i wasn't joking about soap operas. i can hear it in the background when he's talking. some politician is marrying somebody evil, he said. he also said you talk too much. gave it the ring of truth.
i don't know. i'll just keep talking to him and see where it goes. he'll probably be distracted in about three minutes anyway. just remember that if I show up on your doorstep an hour from now drunk and crying you only have yourself to blame.
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please don't overthink things
especially not in a ruining my life way
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that's beside the point though
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i mean
i'm trying with the leg thing, i really am
and we finally got around to talking about sex and stuff
and now I'm going to have to sit through "BLEH NO MARRIAGE"
are you worried that if I feel okay about myself I won't want to be friends with you anymore because that's ridiculous and also really mean
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what did you say
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i'm hoping he'll fall asleep or go try to find chips before we get that far
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you can't just marry people who object to it on every level
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anyway we don't need to get married we already argue a lot and don't have sex with each other we're as married as it gets
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suppose none of this matters
suppose we came here due to a technical problem of experimental wormhole technology in conjunction with faulty neural interfaces and artificial or paranormal intelligences and will leave as abruptly and unexpectedly, that our existence here is a matter of random chaos and err margin
suppose we die next cycle
would it not though have been a very fine thing
to have believed that while he was coming to care for you
unannounced
in between breakfast time and bath time and quiet time and crisis time and water breaks at work, these teeny tiny convergences that are nothing at all compared to the blatant fucking violations of physics that brought you both to this ship, and yet were just as essential just as unimaginable. would it not have been a very fine thing to have believed for awhile that this series of moments
was leading to another moment
in spite of not because of fate and without the limitations of need
I mean I am sorry but it would be a fine thing to me. that's all
no subject
don't mistake my failure to declare myself an eager blushing bride for cynicism
have you ever been in love? like, really truly? because i love him. there are things he does or won't do that drive me crazy up to and including making me want things that i never, ever would have thought i wanted and now that i do they're not things i can have. nations aren't supposed to ever get this close to citizens. and i'm not talking some capulet-montague bullshit, i think it really messes things up. i mean, people have pre-nups for their money and their careers and all kinds of shit. how do you work out a pre-nup for the safety of sixteen million people? because i didn't just fall hard for some stubborn, mulish, beautiful man who acts like scowling at everything that happens could ever hide how gentle and kind he can be. i fell for a nation.
if i loved a preacher I wouldn't ask him to give up god for me. if i loved a father i wouldn't ask him to risk his children for me. for him, it's somewhere in between. maybe both at once, i don't know. and maybe you're right, maybe i don't know what he'd say if i asked. maybe he wouldn't just freak out if i suddenly decided i want babies and white picket fences. but i do know that if i asked him for that i wouldn't deserve it, because i'd be asking him to give up who he is. and that wouldn't be love at all.
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cat's out of the bag now though you might as well talk about something unless you'd really rather not. Honestly Im not even sure why he brought it up, he was quite out of it when we spoke
[Not coincidence, him not picking up the thread about having fallen in love, but there are any number of obvious and boring guesses that would be correct as to why.]
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she only meant to yell at him how did this happen]
i wasn't joking about soap operas. i can hear it in the background when he's talking. some politician is marrying somebody evil, he said. he also said you talk too much. gave it the ring of truth.
i don't know. i'll just keep talking to him and see where it goes. he'll probably be distracted in about three minutes anyway. just remember that if I show up on your doorstep an hour from now drunk and crying you only have yourself to blame.