sweetmotherofgod: (this is Ohio)
Heather Mason ([personal profile] sweetmotherofgod) wrote in [personal profile] dogbane 2014-09-27 11:53 am (UTC)

[oh]

don't mistake my failure to declare myself an eager blushing bride for cynicism

have you ever been in love? like, really truly? because i love him. there are things he does or won't do that drive me crazy up to and including making me want things that i never, ever would have thought i wanted and now that i do they're not things i can have. nations aren't supposed to ever get this close to citizens. and i'm not talking some capulet-montague bullshit, i think it really messes things up. i mean, people have pre-nups for their money and their careers and all kinds of shit. how do you work out a pre-nup for the safety of sixteen million people? because i didn't just fall hard for some stubborn, mulish, beautiful man who acts like scowling at everything that happens could ever hide how gentle and kind he can be. i fell for a nation.

if i loved a preacher I wouldn't ask him to give up god for me. if i loved a father i wouldn't ask him to risk his children for me. for him, it's somewhere in between. maybe both at once, i don't know. and maybe you're right, maybe i don't know what he'd say if i asked. maybe he wouldn't just freak out if i suddenly decided i want babies and white picket fences. but i do know that if i asked him for that i wouldn't deserve it, because i'd be asking him to give up who he is. and that wouldn't be love at all.

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